Unresolved Anger: 2 Samuel 3:22-30
If we have been forgiven much, we should forgive much. I deserve condemnation. My sinfulness deserves to live eternally separated from God. Blessedly, that is not my fate. Despite my sinfulness, God embraces me, calls me home, and forgives my wrongdoing. God welcomes me into eternal life with Him not because I deserve it, but rather because He is righteous.
Joab comes back to Hebron with whatever men were following him on whatever mission David had sent them to complete. He hears Abner visited Hebron and had been released unscathed. He is outraged. His brother’s killer was within David’s grasp, yet David forgave him and let him go.
Joab jumps to any conclusion that makes sense to his mind which David might believe. Joab claims Abner only came as a spy. This reality is possible, certainly. In this circumstance, however, it would have been an exceptionally desperate tactic. David’s forces were growing in strength and support. Ish-bosheth’s forces were crumbling around him. Barring divine intervention, which David had on his side anyways, David was going to win. Abner’s genuine defection makes far more sense than Abner trying to become a spy for Ish-bosheth. David doesn’t buy Joab’s reaction.
Therefore, Joab sends messengers to Abner to bring him back. Joab seeks Abner at the gates before he can make it all the way in to see David. When Joab pulls Abner aside, he thrusts a weapon into his stomach, killing Abner in the same manner as Abner killed his brother.
The problem with Joab’s action is it makes him a murderer. Joab is taking unwarranted revenge. It is understandable for Joab to be angry with Abner. The difference is Abner killed Joab’s brother in a time of war. Abner tried to convince Asahel to turn away. Abner didn’t want to kill Asahel, but because it was warfare it was kill or be killed. Abner was defending himself from Asahel. Yes, Abner killed. No, Abner was not a murderer.
Joab, on the other hand, becomes a murderer. David extended forgiveness. David pardoned Abner’s past actions because they were in warfare and the conflict forced him into violence. Abner did not desire Asahel’s death; rather, Abner was protecting his own life in the circumstances. David forgave while Joab refused to forgive.
This story highlights a difference between David and Joab. David readily forgives sin. David wants to move forward and look to the possibility in God. Joab wants to cling to judgment. Joab hangs onto Abner’s past transgression and cannot accept Abner’s forgiveness.
Human beings, myself in particular, can struggle with this dynamic. God is quick to forgive. We wonder how God can use people who have so much sin in their life. We want them to be held accountable for their sin. God forgives and moves forward, yet we hold on and stay in our judgment. At the very least, we who have been forgiven much should understand how God can forgive others. If we have been forgiven much, we should forgive much.
